Learning the Hard Way

I have been learning a lot this year as a Child Development Specialist. I am learning that choice is not always a good thing, that expressions of respect can be interpreted as waffling, and that whining is not necessarily a passive expression of felt powerlessness but an aggressive act of resistance.

I think I might be being too nice to the people I supervise. I am being taught by my colleagues, individuals I respect and value as teachers that the more choices I give them, the harder they are going to make it for me to do my job.

I am learning the hard way, sort of like I did with this painting. I finished this painting the first time a year ago. Then, I finished it again with a lot more determination to make it good and not just OK.

The experience reminds me of the urban myth kids would tell each other about a tunnel to China. It goes like this, if you jumped in a tunnel to China gravity would pull you back and forth through the center of the earth until you came to rest in the middle. I guess I am passing through the middle of the earth now. I am pulling away from the collegial approach to supervision that I wanted to approach the position with and being pulled towards a more traditional leadership determined approach.

It makes me sad but, it makes me sadder that my reaching out is interpreted as weakness. I wonder if this is how Obama feels.